Ringling 5 Lyrics

Less than three weeks ago, I signed up for a thirty-day free trial to some software that tells me some interesting things about my blog. Where are visitors coming from? How do they find me? Do they come back? All of this is immensely interesting to me. I'm not quite sure why.

I've been delighted to note that four people in less than three weeks have found my blog by searching for the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, the Ringling 5's wonderful song, "If Jesus Had Been a Norwegian." I mentioned it on one of my blogs, but never wrote down the lyrics. Let me explain that the Ringling 5 is a group of seven guys from Montana. I know, they might be math challenged, but they're very funny. They also have some wonderful songs that are not funny at all, like "Grandpa's Barn." I did quote the lyrics for that in an earlier blog entry. It's worth a read, a think. They're very talented. My wonderful pastor from our pre-retirement life gifted us with copies of all their CDs, and they're wonderful additions to my insane music collection.

So for those of you who continue looking for those lyrics, I'm typing them out here. And those of you who have never heard of the Ringling 5, I suggest you might read the lyrics and check out their website. You can, of course, buy their music there. Meanwhile, here's that song, so you can quit searching...

If Jesus Had Been A Norwegian

If Jesus had been a Norwegian, 

Things would be so different today.

Instead of Matthew, Mark and Luke and John,

We'd have Sven and Lars and Oleg.

Walking on the water 

Would be no special trick,

'Cause all over Norway, 

The ice is awful thick.

If Jesus was a Norsky, 

We'd all eat lutefisk.

We'd have lefse for Communion, 

And there'd be no Methodists.

If you wanted to say Amen, 

We're not gonna let ya.

At the end of every prayer we'd shout,

"Ya, sure, you betcha!"

There'd be no December birthday.

You'd be frozen where you lie.

If Jesus was born in Norway, 

Christmas would be in July.

Feeding all the multitude 

Would be an easy task.

With one big bucket of lutefisk, 

"Please no more," they'd ask.

But Jesus was no Norsky.

It could not be done.

Jews are much more serious.

'Wegians too much fun.

But the deciding factor 

When God searched around,

He scanned all of Norway, 

Three wise men were not found.

Ya, sure, you betcha!

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

If your curiosity is killing you, lefse is a Norwegian flat bread, and I understand flat refers to taste as well as shape. Lutefisk, is defined as cod soaked in plutonium (yum), and dates back to the Viking era. I guess that's why there are so many fast food restaurants in the world.

Now, if I start having people look for other songs, like "I'll be Mellow When I'm Dead," I might consider putting up lyrics occasionally. My daddy sang some songs I've never heard anywhere else. Every time I sing one, people look at me really strangely, but they do laugh. Too bad I can't put up a song as easily as lyrics, but there you have it.