What are the top ten signs that the proposed National Health Care bill has been passed and implemented?
10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office: Turn left when you enter the trailer park.
8. The tongue depressors taste like Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist listed in the plan is Gus from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under preventive care is "an apple a day."
5. Your primary care physician is wearing the clothes you donated to charity last month.
4. You learn that "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. Your medications come in colors with little M's on them.
And the number one reason you know Obama's health plan got shoved through Congress and now dictates your medical life:
1. When asking for Viagra, you were given a popsicle stick and some duct tape.