Wednesday, December 30, 2009

70% of All Home Accidents Happen in the Bathroom

Here's something that happened during the wedding trip that I intentionally failed to mention. The first night at the Grand Desert, an absolutely fabulous time-share where Pat and Betty so generously arranged for bride and groom, best man, and parents of the groom (us) to stay, along with them, I had "a bit" of an accident.

I actually hate to admit what happened, and I've tried to pretend it was going to go away by itself, but now that it looks like John will be taking me to the emergency room in Grand Junction tomorrow, I'm going to admit my stupidity. I got up during the night to go to the bathroom. That's a typical, normal thing for a sixty-something year old person to do. What I forgot, I guess, was just how big these rooms are. The bathroom was no exception. I turned, doffed my PJ drawers and sat where I thought the throne was.

Suddenly I was on the floor and my back had been slammed by the porcelain beast. I think I have a semi-permanent "Toyo Toto" bruise, and my tail bone, back, neck and shoulder really hurt, but I wasn't going to ruin the wedding for something that I thought was so stupid—and minor.

Four days later, though, and the bruise is beginning to fade, but I'm concerned about the dramatic increase in pain right next to my spine, just above the right side of the waist. It's gotten bad enough that I'm now having trouble breathing and doing little things like walking and raising my arms. I'm no doctor, but it seems like the pain should diminish with the bruise...shouldn't it?

I'm pretty sure I'll feel better just knowing what's going on inside me. I've always said I have an American Express Medical Degree. "This is your body. Don't leave home without it." Anything else I leave to the professionals. I do know I'm pretty tired of hurting, though.


sherrie said...

Arrrgh! We need to invent an invisible air-bag that just follows you around and anticipates any mishaps about to happen. I hope you're OK and that you'll feel better soon.

Patricia Stoltey said...

That's terrible, Kathleen. I hope it's just a lousy muscle spasm, but I think you're very wise to get it checked out. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Schmath said...

Ouch! That sounds so painful! Sorry about the rib. Is it true that 70% of accidents happen in the bathroom? My google reader only posted the title so I didn't realize that you'd had an accident until your next post. What a bummer.

Kathleen said...

Yes, Schmath, according to, a pretty reliable resource, 70% of all home accidents happen in the bathroom. I guess most of the rest happen in the kitchen. That's why my last ER visit was when I chopped off part of a finger tip and most of my fingernail trying to cut a stale bagel. I now own a bagel guillotine, and my fingers are safe once more. (The finger looks normal now, too...)