When I was a kid, one of the things my dad did was to mangle nursery rhymes. I'm not sure how this got started, or when. I don't even know if they were original to him, but I suspect some were and some were not. I've often quoted my favorites and been asked to write them down, which I've very nicely neglected to do (lo, these many years). So, Sherrie, since you're the one who asked the most often, have fun with these.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
And all the King's horses
And all the King's men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the closet
To get her poor daughter a dress.
And when she got there the closet was bare
And so is her daughter, I guess.
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father killed it dead.
Now Mary takes her lamb to school
Between two chunks of bread.
Now this one you'll have a hard time believing, but I swear... I was told to learn 'the poem' that teaches the number of days in each month. It was homework. My mom was busy with something, I don't remember what, and I asked my dad. Here's what he taught me:
30 days have Septober
April, June and No Under
31 have all the rest
Except for Grandmother
Who drives a Cadillac.
I got sent home from school with a note saying that I had failed to learn the poem teaching me the number of days in each month. My father wrote back that the poem I recited was the poem as he learned it, and that if she had another poem in mind, she should do the teaching herself. Luckily, I wasn't at that school very long.
Hopefully I'll be able to add to these as the days go by. Right now these are the ones that come to mind, but I know there were more. It's always interesting, though, to see how a person comes to be the way they are. People are always saying things like, "The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree," and things like that. Maybe so, maybe not. It's the nature vs. nurture thing in part, but as you get a clearer picture of how I grew up, I just have to ask: don't I seem more normal now? Don't I? Well, never mind.