Thirty Something

That doesn't refer to our ages, but rather to years of marriage. Of course now I guess we could start counting over, since John and I were remarried tonight at a very nice church service, along with three other couples.

It was actually kind of fun beforehand, thinking that with my sense of humor, what would he do if I kind of hesitated before saying my vows. Then, when it was time to actually do it, there was no comedy in my mind at all. Just like thirty something years ago, I knew I was making a very big commitment, a huge promise for a daily decision, and getting one in return.

Way back when John and I first took that walk together, we were told that there were actually six people taking that wedding march together. There's the bride she thinks she is, the bride he thinks she is, and the bride she really is; there's the groom he thinks he is, the groom she thinks he is, and the groom he really is. The important part of a marriage comes when you can get all six of those distinct personalities walking in the same direction and actually talking to each other. Some days that's easier than others, but waking up with commitment is essential.

Each time one of my sons was born I started praying for their future wives, that they would be worthy women, loving and faithful, loved and well treated in return. One of those sons has married, and every prayer I said for that union has been fulfilled. They just celebrated their fifth anniversary. The other two are still gathering my prayers for their unions. I hope when their marriages are thirty something, they can stand in front of an altar somewhere like we did tonight and hold hands, like we did, and repeat vows, meaning them more than they did all those many years ago, with the joys and trials they've shared holding them together like a foundation for the years ahead.

John is the ballast for my boat. I guess I'm the laughter in his stillness.

Encouragement

Having four kids and being a woman who felt it was easier to do all the housework herself rather than teach the kids to help, Mom often got behind on her household chores. Of course we children didn't much care. It never got outrageously bad, but Daddy was a perfectionist, and noticed anything that wasn't the way he wanted it to be. I think he was patient most of the time, or if he got on her about it, he did it in private. I do remember that as an adult I often thought that the way to get the house clean was to go outside and play, and when you came back in, it would be all nice and clean. It never worked for me as an adult. Now I've learned that daily doses are a lot easier than periodic panic cleaning.

We were talking about my Mom, though. I was remembering one night when Dad came home from work and decided to give her a little encouragement to get things picked up and cleaned really quickly. He was a Master Sergeant. We were pretty young at that time, but old enough to help if we had ever been taught what to do. Still, if handed something and told where to put it, we could do that. When Dad walked in, we all got ready to sit down for dinner as usual. While we were eating, Dad casually stated, "Earl and Dee are coming by for a visit."

You would have thought the rest of the meal was served in fast forward. Dishes were cleared and cleaned, the only job we youngsters actually were adept at doing, besides hauling out the trash. Then Mom started running through the house, starting at the front door. She picked up, put away, straightened, dusted, vacuumed... By eight o'clock the house looked pretty good, and Mom was about to head to her room to freshen up when she turned to my dad.

"What time did Earl say he and Dee would be here?"

"Oh, he didn't say. He just thought they should come by for a visit soon. I didn't say tonight. When should we have them over?"

At least the house looked really nice. And whatever Mom was thinking, she didn't say it out loud.

Growing Pains

Seventh Grade. Daddy gave permission for my sister, my younger brother and me to each invite a friend and pitch tents in the back yard in Virginia, which is where we were living at the time. There was the girl's tent and the boy's tent. There was just one rule. We were not allowed to leave the tents after dark.

I was in seventh grade, Ken was in sixth grade, and Ellen was a ninth grader. My friend was Vivien, and her brother Marvin was Kenny's friend. I don't remember who Ellen's friend was. Although there were the same number of months between her and me as there was between Ken and me, she always seemed way beyond my sphere. (She danced with boys; I played the accordion.)

Our house backed up to the woods on the Army base, Ft. Belvoir, and we enjoyed the normal early 60's routine of running behind the DDT truck in the early summer twilight. (OK, maybe it's not surprising that I ended up a little strange.) We ended up back in the tents by the time the night had gotten completely dark, and laughed and talked until all was quiet and the lights went off in the houses around us. Then, of course, we quietly slipped out of the tents and snuck off into the woods.

Walking along through the woods, we were able to avoid the street, but still make our way to the biggest playground any kid could ask for in this or any other lifetime. There was a parade ground right next to a golf course, and they were both within walking distance, bordered by beautiful climbing trees. There was lots of space for running, trees for climbing, and spots for hide and seek. We were a lot more innocent than today's pre-teens were, and we had a lot of good clean fun out there that night. Once in awhile the MP (Military Police) jeeps would come by, and we'd have to hide, but since we weren't caught, it wasn't a problem. I think they knew that kids routinely played out there at night anyway. Their patrols just kept a lid on things.

Finally, probably around midnight, we came straggling back through the woods to the tents, tired and dirty. I'll never forget crawling through the flap of our tent to see Daddy sitting cross-legged in the middle of our sleeping bags, waiting for us, with his belt in his lap. We were in deep, deep trouble. It probably would have hurt less if the MPs had gotten us first. Daddy had a temper. I remember he walked our friends home before the spankings started, but that just gave us time to think about it.

The funny thing is, I wouldn't have traded that night for anything. Even if I had known we'd get caught and punished like we did, I think I'd still have gone and had that last innocent night of fun, being a carefree child one more time. I think this was the last time I ever really ran free like that. After that night I pretty much started concentrating on my classwork and my music, and I know I thought about consequences more.

I know I still ran behind the DDT truck on occasion, and I sure didn't immediately throw out the stash of mercury we kids kept in a bottle. I think we often broke thermometers on purpose just to add to our collection. Gosh, that stuff was fun to play with! Still, it was the beginning of the end of an era. The era of childhood.

Victory Gardens - Just Like Grandma

I'm posting an article I found in Glenn Beck's newsletter, which is my only online subscription. Five hours of Beck a week is not enough for me. He's crazy, but smart crazy, and between watching him and Bill O'Reilly I figure I fill in the gaps in my ability to follow politics, the economy, and trends in this country I love so much.

When I read this article on Victory Gardens, I wanted to post it on my blog. Living in Colorado on an acre and a quarter, I do have space to make a garden, if the deer don't eat everything. I'll have to do more checking on that. I didn't want to just put it up without permission, though. I wouldn't want anyone to just take my work like that. (As if they would.) So I emailed Michael Glassman, the writer of the article. He's pretty well-known. I've seen him on Discovery Home and HGTV, so I wasn't too sure he'd have time to answer an email. It only took a few hours for a reply to come, giving me permission to post his article. What a gentleman!

So here's the article on Victory Gardens, posted with permission from Michael Glassman, and a link to his web site should work near the bottom.

Get Prepared: Victory Garden

Planting a Victory Garden
by: Michael Glassman

Back in World War II the United States Government urged people to plant food in order to help ease the burden on the nation's food supply during a very difficult time in the history of our nation. The resulting gardens were nicknamed "Victory Gardens".

Today's economy is not exactly the same as it was back then, but we are facing challenges of our own. Our food supply is not necessarily in danger of going away, but in case you haven't noticed prices on the most basic of things are going through the roof---and that starts to add up. I realize not everyone has a giant corner of their yard to dig up and turn into a farm, but there are things you can grow in just about any landscape that will not only yield food, but blend in with the surroundings.

Vines that Fruit: Do you have a blank wall that needs something growing on it? Try building a lattice trellis on the wall and planting grapes to grow on the trellis. "Red Flame Seedless" or "Thompson Seedless" grapes are great vines to plant on a trellis or on an iron gazebo, the beautiful fruit bunches hanging down make a great addition to your landscape. Do you have an empty iron arch? A great vine is Kiwis. You need to plant a male and a female vine in order for them to cross pollinate and produce fruit. Plant one of each on either side of the arch. Sweet Peas or Snap beans also make a great vine for a trellis or an arch. If you have a blank spot in your garden that only gets morning sun, try planting Blueberries.

Pot Veggies: A bare patio could use a large pot planted with vegetables and herbs. In the center of a large pot place a wire topiary frame and plant a tomato. Tomatoes are the fastest and easiest to grow they take about 2 to 3 months before producing fruit. Place them in full sun and water daily. Around the tomato, plant basil, oregano, thyme and garlic-this pot has the making of a good pasta sauce. Or plant a pot with Butter lettuce, Romaine lettuce, radishes, a cherry tomato plant and you have a salad in a pot. Herbs make good ground covers: such as creeping thyme, lemon thyme, chamomile, strawberries, all make great ground covers and all grow in full sun.

Privacy Food: If you are looking to create some privacy between you and your neighbors, don't just get any old plant. Plant "Laurus Nobilus", common name Bay Laurels, for a good privacy screen. This is better known as Bay leaves, the same spice that we dry and use in our spaghetti sauce. They are an evergreen bush or tree growing up to 35 feet in height. They give you plenty of privacy. Or plant "Feijoa Sellowiana" common name Pineapple Guava. They make a great evergreen screen growing up to 20 feet in height and have delicious fruit that can be eaten and will also make great mixed drinks.

Made in the shade: Fruit trees make a great shade tree or patio tree. Try planting a self pollinating Cherry Tree. Cherries are so expensive in the supermarket and yet one "Bing Cherry" can produce over 10 to 15 lbs of fruit. My family just harvested our Cherry tree. The fruit was delicious and we picked over 10 lbs of fruit. Other fruit tree options would be planting a Santa Rosa plum or Apricot. These trees produce beautiful white and pink flowers that turn into delicious fruit. If you have a very small yard plant a dwarf or semi-dwarf variety. Full size fruit trees can grow up to 20 feet in height, yet a semi dwarf fruit tree grows about 12 feet and a genetic dwarf fruit tree grows only to about 4 to 5 feet. Genetic fruit trees are great to grow in a pot or large tub. Peaches, nectarines and apples are also great trees to plant in your garden. If you have very limited space and only have room for one fruit tree but you like so many of the summer fruits, you can buy a fruit tree that is called a "fruit cocktail tree". These are fruit trees that have been grafted with several different kinds of fruit on one tree, such as a cherry, plum and peach.

In warmer climates citrus trees and bushes are wonderful. A full size citrus tree can grow 20 feet, it is an evergreen tree with fragrant flowers and wonderful fruit. If you like navel oranges plant "Washington Navels" or "Robertson navels". If juice is desired plant a "Valencia Orange". If you are interested in making Lemonade, plant a" Eureka" or a "Lisbon" Lemon, if you want a decorative Lemon with an orange skin plant a Improved Mayer Lemon. Genetic dwarf citrus grow to a height of 4 to 6 feet are great to grow in a large pot. If you do get a cold spell you can cover them with a plastic tarp making a tent (try not to touch the leaves) or bring the pot inside or on a sheltered patio. Plant strawberries to drape over the container around the dwarf citrus.

Melons are very expensive to buy at the store. Take an area that gets full sun and build 12" high by 24" wide mounds of dirt. Place two melon plants "Ambrosia" cantaloupes or "Sugar Baby" watermelons on the top of the mounds and water daily for two weeks. Melons should be planted after the last frost. After the first two weeks water every other day. It takes 65 to 85 days for your melons to ripen and be ready to eat. When preparing the soil mix in coffee grounds or compost to add organic material to your soil. Aged horse manure is one of the best composts since it is not as high in Urinemic acid as cow manure is.

These are just a few starter ideas help you create an edible garden. Will it solve all of your problems with high food prices? No. But you'll be surprised at how much you'll gain from the work you put into growing your own food. You'll gain a little in the pocketbook; you'll make a few less trips to the grocery store. But most importantly you'll experience the satisfaction of growing your own fruits, herbs and vegetables---and you'll possess the knowledge that you are prepared to provide for your family (at least basic nourishment) no matter what is going on in the world---which is a bit of a 'victory' in its own right.

Michael Glassman is co-host of the Discovery Channel's "Garden Police". He has over 20 years experience, and a degree in Landscape Design and Horticulture from the University of California at Davis. He currently lives in Northern California with his wife and daughter and his work can be viewed on his website

My Mom's Silly Songs

I wish I could remember all of the verses to all the silly songs my mom used to sing to us kids. There's one in particular that I've been trying to remember the words to, though, and I cannot even find a mention of it on the internet. So I ask you all, if you've ever heard of this song, to please send me any other verses that you know. I only remember one, and Mom doesn't remember any others either. She says this is all she remembers from her mom singing it to her.

If you see any ladies who want any babies

Just send them right over to me.

Today is the day we give babies away

With a pound and a half of tea.

That's it. That's all we remember. You see why it's an incredibly important song, which deserves to have all its parts remembered for posterity. There should be a book for foolishness passed on by each Mama and Daddy. It's never the sensible things we remember. After all, I'm the child who said that when I grew up I was going to raise dragons. I think that was a year or two after I told someone I was going to be a mother, a nun, and a ballet dancer. 

The 1992 American Legion World Series

We won. Jeremy and I watched it happen.

It wasn't as simple as that makes it sound. The first thing that happened was that the team left without us, and we knew that they'd keep in touch by phone after each game, and that was the best that we could expect. Then we got a phone call from one of the team mothers who had a travel agent friend. They had arranged a two-for-one special deal for team family members to fly to Fargo. Half price for one, I wanted to know? Nope. Two for one, and everyone else was paired up.

We had a family meeting, and I couldn't figure out how this would work. Ben immediately stepped up and said that Jeremy should be the one to go, since he was older. Ben was willing to stay home without a fuss. I shouldn't have been amazed, but that kid constantly showed me how a good person should act toward others. John had to work, so it was quickly decided that Jeremy and I would go together, and we left quickly. Even Tighe didn't know that we would be at his game.

We arrived in Fargo after Midnight, technically the day of the opening ceremony. Our team marched in with all the other teams from around our country and from as far away as Puerto Rico. Most of the teams had matching jackets and uniforms. We looked like the Bad News Bears. Our jerseys didn't all match. We had just come from a hot climate, and some of us didn't have long sleeves. It was bitter cold in Fargo that week.

Now remember that Tighe didn't know that Jeremy and I were among the ten thousand or so filling the stands that day. All the teams marched out to the field together to the sounds of music and the cheering of the crowds. Everyone was screaming, including Jeremy and me. I'm not that loud. I'm not. But suddenly, down on the field, we could see Tighe stiffen and start to scan the crowd. It took him awhile, but he finally found us. His look of shock was replaced with joy, and then he again put on his solemn game face. He knew he had family in the stands.

There were so many highlights of that week. Winning was the big one. The trophy the team flew home with was almost as big as another kid. Almost. Tighe was awarded the Bob Feller pitching award. The Bob Feller pitching award is presented annually to the pitcher in Regional and World Series competition who strikes out the most batters. You can still find his name on the internet and in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Someday I'll get to see that...

Another highlight that I'll just mention very briefly is being handed what I thought was a really delicious milk shake of some kind. After the second one, I got up to go to the restroom and almost couldn't walk. They were giving me Brandy Alexanders. I'll always have a fondness for that drink now, but a lot more caution. That was some team party — the team was elsewhere. This was the parents and coaches celebrating.

I guess when I think back on the entire experience, the three things that stand out in my mind most are my husband's willingness to fork over money we really didn't have so that Tighe could have family at this important competition; Ben's immediate willingness to stand aside to allow his brother Jeremy to go; and that moment when Tighe's face registered his joy in finding us in the stands. These are the moments that live in our hearts.

My Beloved Books

I'm parting with some of my books. It was a tough decision, but rather than have every wall in our home covered floor to ceiling with book shelves, I've decided to take an inventory, and decide what I absolutely can't get ride of, and put the rest in a garage sale. It'll hurt, but others will enjoy my choices, I'm sure. Some are simply too good to just sell, and I'll bring a good selection to Mom for her friends at the Senior Center. Others will go to the local library.

Among my books are some that I reread every five years or so, and thus will be keeping on my shelves. I wanted to recommend them. Some are old. A couple are new, but I know they will fall into this category, and so I'll shelf them together. It's an eclectic mix, so everything might not be to everyone's taste, but if you just love really great writing, I'd say this is a great list to try if you're out of your own favorite author's titles.

In no particular order...

• The Source by James Michener
• Islandia by Austin Tappan Wright
• The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
• The Foundation Trilogy by Isaac Asimov
• The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkein
• Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
• Shogun, Tai-Pan, and Noble House by James Clavell
• Out of the Silent Planet Trilogy & The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis
• Three Weeks With My Brother (& almost everything else) by Nicholas Sparks
• The Dune Trilogy by Frank Herbert
• The Chase by Clive Cussler
• The Drake series & The Leopard series by Christine Feehan
• Magic Kingdom for Sale/Sold by Terry Brooks
• The Marble Faun by Nathaniel Hawthorne
• Ender's Game (series) & The Seventh Son (series) by Orson Scott Card
• The Dragonriders of Pern (series) by Anne McCaffrey
• The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
• The Christmas Box, Finding Noel, & The Christmas Gift by Richard Paul Evans
• The Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer

I'll add to this a list of my favorite "women's fiction" authors. For many years I was too big a snob to ever read "that stuff." I can honestly say that once I started I went through many years where I read nothing else. I can also attest to the fact that I learned many very much needed lessons about relationships from reading these books. I very rarely read strictly romance anymore. Most of these authors' new books are fairly intense, and most could be categorized as romantic suspense. If you want the door to close during romantic moments, be prepared to skim or skip a few pages now and then. It won't make any difference to your reading enjoyment. I'll give just one or two examples by each author.

• Barbara Delinsky (Family Tree)
• Catherine Coulter (The Sherbrooke series)
• Danielle Steele (Sisters)
• Debbie Maconber (Mrs. Miracle)
• Diana Palmer (Soldier of Fortune series)
• Elizabeth Lowell (Only You; Only Mine; Only His; Only Love - it's a series)
• Iris Johansen (The Wind Dancer; The Tiger Prince
• Jayne Ann Krentz (Falling Awake; writing as Amanda Quick, Second Sight)
• Jude Deveraux (The Velvet Series)
• Judith McNaught (Every Breath You Take)
• Linda Howard (MacKenzie Family Saga - five books)
• Nora Roberts (The Irish Trilogy; The Garden Trilogy; and writing as J. D. Robb, Remember When)
• Sandra Brown (anything, but to name one - Envy)
• Tami Hoag (Kill the Messenger)

I'd appreciate it if you'd comment with a book or two that you can't forget, loan out and have to replace when it never comes back, or find yourself rereading once in awhile. By the way, my most often replaced book is Islandia. It's the only book Austin Tappan Wright ever wrote. I'd love to write a sequel. I've read the book about eight times in the last 40 years, and each time I read it, my sequel would be different. I guess I keep morphing. I now have two copies of Islandia - a paperback that I'm willing to loan out, and a hard cover that never leaves the house. Let me know what your library's treasures include, please. We'll just assume there might be scriptures there, so you won't need to list those.

I'll end with a quote attributed to Seneca. "If I have money, I buy books. If I have more money, I buy food."